iPhoneys

Remember how I mentioned I am truly bad at decisions?

Consider this example:  I had a moment of extreme stress a few months ago.  My blackberry contract was coming to an end and I needed a new one.  No biggie, right?  Just look at what’s available and sign your life away for another three years.

Riiiiiight. 

Instead of making a seemingly simple decision, I agonized.  Specifically, I agonized over whether I should get an iPhone.  I asked myself: Should I switch it up from the old berry?   How incredibly cool would I look with an iPhone in my hand (I’d clearly be exactly like the dancing girl in the commercials)?  How many times in the past could I have used the Shazam app?  How will I be able to decide on a restaurant if I don’t have that chooser-app thingy?

Next step after agonizing and question-asking:  I did a little field research.  I asked around; I closely observed.

And I discovered that people that own iPhones are different from me – they are more connected, more “on”, more excited about their web-searching abilities than I ever saw myself being.

And…I’m sorry to say this (and I will offer a caveat to this next statement – this DOES NOT apply to all iPhone users)…they are….ahem….annoying? (again!  it doesn't apply to all of you!)

Anyway – I feel like it’s often the iPhone users that are looking at their iPhones when they should be engaging in outside world stuff.   Also – there is simply no need to have your iPhone earphones (sorry – ear buds) in at all times.  I.E.  it is OK to walk down the street without listening to that tune you just shazamed and then downloaded for $1.29.  (I just re-read that sentence and must ask myself – exactly when did I become bitter?)

And yes, I know, I know, people can be the same with BB’s (remember – I live with a man who takes his BB to BED with him.  Yes, you read that correctly).  But, I have to put this out there:  iPhone users are worse.  They just are.

And this is the other thing that someone pointed out to me and it’s SO TRUE.  iPhone users slip “iPhone” into a conversation way too easily and way too often.  Listen carefully next time you’re around an iPhoner.  You’ll pick up what I’m throwing down.

And while you’re listening, do this neat trick that someone taught me today:  mentally substitute “vagina” for the word “iPhone”.  I love this.

Her example:

Colleague sits down at meeting, pats pocket, stands up. "I'll be right back. I left my vagina on my desk!"

And that is going to make me laugh for the rest of the week.